“…Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you.”

“Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state; A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake. No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber, until I realize it was you that held me under. Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hallows of my eyelids; Shaking through my skull, through myspine and down through my ribs.”

Why?
I don’t get it.
Why…

If you want to know what it’s like, I won’t stop you. I didn’t force you into choosing me and I won’t force you into staying if it isn’t what you want.

Just know that I love you. And I’m sorry you have grown weary of being patient with me, I’m sorry that I’m still lovesick and I can’t stop being that way, I’m sorry that I always cry when I think about you and then cry harder because ideas keep flooding in and I can’t explain them to you, and I’m sorry for everything that isn’t mentioned.

I’m not going to wake up and wonder “what could have been” because I don’t want anything that isn’t without you.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy
There's nothing you can know that can't be known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy
All you need is love

-Beatles- 'All you need is love'

I wish that I could take my brain out of my head and wash away all of the Thoughts and Memories I don’t want..

I miss Our spark…

Are you saying love 
Or are you saying nothing 
Still life is a crime 
That I can't ignore 
Your perfect ways will follow 
The temperature that's rising 
All this time you never me think 

It was the hardest part to know 
It was the fastest we could run 
It was the farthest we could go 
We are alive my angel 

Carcerated 
A tougher ending 
It sounds so easy 
But every time we were supposed to let go 
We'd make love 
Now pull me closer, let the heat take over 

Cut me away 
Cut me away 
Don't end it up and 
I tried to love you like before 
If this was a night 
It was the best one of our lives 

Are you saying now 
Or are you saying never 
The still frame in my mind cannot be ignored 
And all I can remember 
Is the way you moved your body 
And how your lips never said no 
But it was killing you inside 
Cause you thought I was the one 
And now it's out of your control 
You have arrived my angel 

Carcerated 
A tougher ending 
It sounds so easy 
But every time we were supposed to let go 
We'd make love 
Now pull me closer, let the heat take over you 
You 

And we're were drawing lines not to cross 
So we would never feel a thing 
And now it's breaking you apart 
Just like it broke your heart 

Carcerated
A tougher ending 
It sounds so easy 
But every time we were supposed to let go 
We'd make love 
Now pull me closer, let the heat take over 

Cut me away 
Cut me away 
Don't end it up and 
I tried to love you like before 
If this was a night 
It was the best one of our lives
Q---Evans Blue

I hate school. I don’t want to come back in the fall but I don’t really have a choice. The money is here and nowhere else. So why not just stay?

Growing up is hard. I ned to save more money. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine, but when actually having to pay for the Volvo and having a house to rent out? Puh-lease. I couldn’t do it with what I have now. But that still isn’t stopping me from wanting to try. The only thing thats keeping me from trying to leave the house is I would no longer have the Volvo. So I couldn’t get around anywhere…. Plus I’m pretty sure I couldnt be allowed to keep it. =.=

220 days. That’s the countdown. I know that its going to be longer than that though. Lifes not that simple. Add another 200 to it and maybe we’ll have something. But I’m going to stay with Him. Through watever it takes. I’ve said that from day one. But its really tough. I can’t leave hime now without crying >.> I can’t even handle it anymore.
It’ll get better. It’ll all get better.

White walls surround us
No light will touch your face again
Rain taps the window
As we sleep among the dead

Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye

Cold light above us
Hope fills the heart
And fades away
Skin white as winter
As the sky returns to grey

Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can’t bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
Then say the last goodbye

Your’re dead alive [x4]

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can’t bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye

Anthem of the Angels— Breaking Benjamin

Enemy of mine, I’ll fuck you like the devil.
Violent inside, beautiful and evil.
I’m a ghost. You’re an angel.
One that was saved, just remains of an age.
Lost in a day dream, what do you see?
If you’re looking for Jesus, get on your knees!

Your soul!

I can’t even tell if being fought over is what is happening or if we are all nothing but children who don’t have the slightest clue.

Regardless, we have all lost here.

We have gone through a lot. And I hope that we can survive it… But I worry that if something were to happen, I would be fine…But He wouldn’t.

Times are tough. I am going to college in the fall and He’ll still be in high school. I dunno… We’ll do what we can for however long we can. ^_^

Everything else is pretty cool now. I’m happy. My friends are there for me and I am there for them. I’m comfortable with that… I do miss the sometimes though.

Like when I spend all of my free time with Him. I just want a few hours or an evening with them. =)

The party I went to last night was great! The kid was worried as Hell though that it wouldn’t work out. But I think it went off without a hitch. =D

I hope he thought so too. :]

And truthfully…. Our Play has never been better. ^.^