Nothing Better… ^_^

They don’t understand how much I need this.
How much we need this. 
How difficult it is going through the day with nothing more then simple touches… Not being able to respond to one another. 
How much it drives at my skull, my skin, and my heart.

It’s as bad as not breathing. Holding my breath until I want to collapse.
I am dying. And I’m not sure that I can last too much longer.
And I just need time to get used to all this… The emotion and the craving. God that craving….. It will be the death of me. I promise you that.  

I want people to be happy… But I don’t want to go overly out of my way to make that happen…. I want my happiness because I think that I deserve it. And perhaps I’m selfish… Because I want just ‘Us’ the mere essence of it and everyone else needs to try and grasp that. Must understand that they are still so important to me, just aren’t the main part of my picture anymore. The only picture I have is Him.

Either you’re with me or against me. Beside me or behind me.
You make that decision…. And we will go from there.

A daydream spills from my corked head 
Breaks free of my wooden neck 
Left a nod over sleeping waves 
Like bobbing bait for bathing cod 
Floating flocks of candled swans 
Slowly drift across wax ponds 

The men all played along 
To marching drums 
And boy did they have fun 
Behind the sea 
They sang (hey!) 
So our matching legs 
Are marching clocks 
And we’re all too small 
To talk to God 
Yes, we’re all too smart 
To talk to God 

Toast the fine folks casting silver crumbs 
To us from the dock 
Jinxed things ringing as they leak 
Through tiny cracks in the boardwalk 
Scarecrow, now it’s time to hatch 
Sprouting suns and ageless daughters 

Don’t you know 
Don’t you know 
That those watermelon smiles 
Just can’t ripen underwater 
Just can’t ripen underwater 

The men all played along 
To marching drums 
And boy did they have fun 
Behind the sea 
They sang (hey!) 
So our matching legs 
Are marching clocks 
And we’re all too small 
To talk to God 
Yeah, we’re all too smart 
To talk to God 
Oh, we’re all too smart 
To talk to God 

Ooooh 

Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs 
Waves of wooden legs 
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs 
Waves of wooden legs 
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs 
Waves of wooden legs 
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs 
Waves of wooden legs 

Oooooh 

“So close” 

Behind The Sea— Panic! At The Disco

Let’s Stay Where We Are… Forever.

Happy doesn’t begin to cover the emotion that I have right now. In this present life.
I wonder if it’s wrong to think that I have found “The One” ….Ew. I sound all girly…. I hate that…. _._

But in any case…. My mindset on Marriage has begun to change.
For the better I guess most women would say… But I am still iffy on it.

I Love Him. I don’t want anyone else. 

 

And I am trying to keep my balance. I have already used my one and only “Fuck Up” moment. So it needs to be smooth sailing form here on out.

But it is so hard to let go. To get up and leave…. 

And I don’t want my friends to think that I am leaving them for Him. It happened to me and I was very upset by it…. Sadly I can understand why she did it though. But I swore that I would never let that happen to me.

I do not want them mad at me….. And I want them to say something if I am being too attached, to obsessive. 

 

Caught up in this madness too blind to see
Woke animal feelings in me
Took over my sense and I lost control
I’ll taste your blood tonight 

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but know it’s too late you’ve wasted all your time

Relax while you’re closing your eyes to me
So warm as I’m setting you free
With your arms by your side there’s no struggling
Pleasure’s all mine this time

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but know it’s too late you’ve wasted all your time

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there’s silence
Scream while there’s life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

We’ve all had a time where we’ve lost control
We’ve all had our time to grow
I’m hoping I’m wrong but I know I’m right
I’ll hunt again one night

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but know it’s too late you’ve wasted all your time

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there’s silence
Scream while there’s life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

Some live repressing their instinctive feelings
Protest the way we’re built don’t point the blame on me

Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would
if I ravaged your body
Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would if I ravaged

your mind

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there’s silence
Scream while there’s life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

Avenged Sevenfold— Scream

Magic…

And things have fallen into place.

Finally.

I’ve got Him. All to me…

Being selfish isn’t flattering… But I’ve kept my composure for long enough.

I feel great… Relieved…

He’s Mine.

=D